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I’m Probably Going To Get A Promotion. |  - Happiness

And Now I’m Scared Of Trash Bags

You’ve been warned. The trash bag cometh.
A trash bag tried to kill Captain Thoughtful and me. This is a true story.
Captain Thoughtful was driving us back to Austin after a delightful weekend in Fort Worth, when all of the sudden something large threw itself at the car. We were both very startled. Even Captain Thoughtful, who stared down an irate gorilla, jumped a bit. Well, I should say Captain Thoughtful was “startled”, I more or less had a conniption in the passenger seat and came very close to sucking up all the oxygen in the car with my sharp intake of breath. It took us only a second to realize that the large thing that had thrown itself at the car was a very large trash bag. It took another second to realize it was stuck on the passenger side mirror and flailing loudly and desperately again my side of the car. Obviously, this trash bag was out to get us. Why would a trash bag be out to get us? Probably because of me, I’ve made a lot of strange enemies in my day and I suspect the trash bag was sent by Steven Spielberg as a vague and almost indecipherable warning to stop blogging about how much I hate aliens and dinosaurs and how I suspect he’s out to get me. Well, you’re going to have to try harder than that Mr. Spielberg, I’m on to your sick games and if it’s a war of ridiculous and completely nonsensical pranks you want, well buckle up bubba because I will own you when this is over!
Anyway, I just reached out to push the bag off the side mirror, which is pretty brave when you think about it and also you’ve had a few drinks. We laughed about it later but I certainly have a new fear-based respect for trash bags. Which is a pretty good lesson about life probably. Or not.

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