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Last week in my yoga class, my instructor advised us that while in downward dog we should feel our “anus blossoming”.

I’m not sure I want to be that good at yoga.

According to the lovable robot who lives in my blog – it’s my 4 year blogging anniversary today!!!

I totally forgot. Or, I had no clue. Either way, I think my blog is probably really pissed at me for not making a big deal of it. Sorry blog o’my life, I promise I will definitely remember next year. Probably.

Also, I looked up what the traditional gift for a 4th anniversary is, and found a site that said “Fruit/flowers, or if you are modern, appliances”. So, I’m going to buy myself some flowers today, because I have all the appliances I need, including a sno-cone maker.

Also, Also, THANK YOU PEEPS (by the by, I have decided to call you all “peeps” because…’re my peeps. Ok? Cool.) Y’all make my day every day and I am so thankful for you!!!!



Does it seem to anyone else like there is a Country Music Awards show about once a month? They are always on right? Or am I having a groundhog day experience but instead of a day, I keep reliving the same month?

For the last 30 days, the most popular search term to this here blog o’mine was “cotton candy”.  This is the first time in the last couple of years that a search term other than “douche bag” was tops. This makes me very proud. I don’t know why and I have no idea (nor do I care to delve into) what mission it is that I have accomplished but I think it’s safe to say:

Mission accomplished y’all.

This isn’t so much my thought as it is a verbal exchange from The Simpson’s  episode “Four Great Women and a Manicure”, which for the record, is one of my favorite Simpson’s episodes of all time even though lots of people apparently didn’t watch it and those who did hated it. Whatever, I downloaded it as soon as I could from iTunes and watch it again all the time, I’m contrarian like that.  Perhaps a lot of my love for the episode stems from the following exchange:

(In a totally not copyright infringed upon retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)

Lenny Dwarf: There’s someone in our house!

Crabby Dwarf: Let’s put a pickaxe in it’s brain!

Lenny Dwarf: You’re in marketing! Why do you even bring an axe?

Crabby Dwarf: If you were in marketing, you’d know.

I’m in marketing. I know. For some reason, laughing at that makes my day job somehow more bearable.

I got a nice long massage the other day and it became apparent to me about halfway through it that maybe I don’t know how to relax, because while I was supposed to be relaxing and basking in the zen of it all, I was compiling a list in my head of all the people I have disappointed in the last few years. That’s not relaxing right? Is it? I don’t even know.

There is this thing I’ve seen a lot of recently called “Ask Me Anything!” and lots of very cool people do it, and y’all, I want so badly to be cool. So…..

For real. Ask me anything you want to know. I’ll answer you. I might not give you a straight answer, because, you know that’s not usually how I roll, but by the same token, maybe I will. Who knows? Anything is possible! That’s science.

I realize I’m not nearly cool enough to be doing this, but I have hopes that someday I will be cool enough to do an AMA and then it will already be done. This is what they call preparation y’all. I’m a cool prepper. Always prepping for someday when I’ll be cool.

About once a month or so, I’m going to use this post to share what I’m loving right now. It’s not really about me, it’s about the things I’m loving. And I would love to know what you’re loving. (And now I have McDonald’s ba da ba da da I’m lovin it, stuck in my head)


I just started reading The Devil In The Shape of a Woman and so far, I’m into it. I’m a big fan of non-fiction and ever since I starred (had an itsy-bitsy tiny part in) The Crucible in High School, I’ve been interested in this topic.

BUT I just finished Miss Peregrine’s School For Peculiar Children and IT WAS SPECTACULAR. I am having a very difficult time in waiting for the second book to come out in January because I need to know what happens NOW. And by now, I mean yesterday.


There are two things I can’t get enough of right now. Muddy Waters and Shinyribs.

The one and only thing I’ve thought about North West (Kim and Kanye’s kid), is that I really hope that when she turns 11, she pulls a real North (like the movie) and sues her parents and then has two months to either find new parents or live with the ones she’s got. Spoiler alert – she’ll realize in the end how much she loves Kim and Kanye and how much she wants them to keep being her parents.

Remember how I used my sweet math skills and love of gin to overcome my fear of flying? Well, there may have been a slight flaw in my math. Shocking, I know. The variable I failed to consider was work trips. I dont have to take them often so it’s an understandable oversight, right? Regardless, I am flying to NYC today and heading straight for a work event as soon as I land and I’m guessing the smell of gin on my breath might send a bad message. My genius failed to account for this. So, anyone else have any bright “conquering your fear” type thoughts? An odor-less gin recipe perhaps?

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