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Desperation Scammer

Dear Flight Attendant |

Dear Flight Attendant,

When we are having really really bad (like airplane crashing bad) turbulence I would really appreciate it if you could NOT PANIC because when you panic, I panic. And when I panic, I hyperventilate and cry all over Captain Thoughtful’s shirt and get mascara on it and really annoy the guy sitting on the other side of me. I have a hard enough time remembering to breathe when it’s turbulent, you freaking out and saying “This is really bad, we need to get to the back.” does NOT in any way help me not completely fall to pieces and humiliate myself.

But hey, thanks for the tiny bag of peanuts. It’s really cool you guys still do that.

Thankful I’m on the ground,


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