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Discoveries - Student

Discoveries

As soon as I used to be 12, I study a e e-book about Queen Hatshepsut, Egypt’s first female Pharaoh. In that e e-book, it was hypothesized that she died attributable to an an an infection from an abscessed tooth. I was irrationally upset on the thought {{that a}} lack of dental care interrupted her reign and her life so I vowed then and there to take very good care of my enamel. I’ve flossed regularly since then.

These days, I have been revisiting my love of Egyptology and have been learning updated evaluation on Queen Hatshepsut. Appears, it most likely wasn’t an abscess tooth that caused her lack of life.

Prolonged story temporary, I have been flossing for nothing.

screen shot 2012 04 10 at 9 28 40 pm

I was pondering the other day about how medical medical doctors get to say “Good day my determine is Doctor McDoctorson, M.D.” or “My determine is Doctor McDoctorson, Ph.D.” or rich people get to say “My determine is Richy McRicherson, Esquire.” And I was pondering it’s prone to be truly cool if all people purchased to have a title nonetheless it was merely one factor factual about their life instead of some kind of accolade. Moreover, I really feel doing it that methodology would truly go a fantastic distance in fixing the have v. have-not situation. I suggest, clearly it wouldn’t treatment the complete draw back nonetheless it is perhaps like an excellent starting place. It’s the correct combination of individualism and communism because of all people get their very private distinctive title nonetheless no one’s title is basically greater than anyone else’s. I anticipate the federal authorities to be contacting me about this shortly. Inside the meantime, listed below are only a few titles I’m pondering of for myself.

Lifehacker Lady, sleeps on her aspect.

Lifehacker Lady, likes watermelon.

Lifehacker Lady, flosses repeatedly.

Lifehacker Lady, gives quite a few high-fives.

Lifehacker Lady, likes jelly beans.

Lifehacker Lady, tells jokes.

Lifehacker Lady, sings showtunes throughout the morning.

For precise this time, I’m like 97% constructive this idea goes to earn me a Nobel peace prize. Nevertheless don’t concern, even after I win that prestigious award, I’ll nonetheless merely be Lifehacker Lady, sleeps on her aspect. (And likewise she acquired a Nobel peace prize).

What would you need your title to be?

You notice them. You detest them. All of us do.

They’re the One-Uppers. They’re those that always have a better story, a worse sickness, a better car, a better haircut, a extra sturdy work activity, a sexier lover, a irrespective of it takes to one-up irrespective of it is you’ve got gotten. They suck. Not since you think they’re liars and by no means because of they’re all the time trying to outdo you nonetheless because of they’re annoying as hell. And why are they annoying? Because of they’re most positively liars they usually’re always trying to outdo you. It’s a vicious cycle. Nevertheless you might’t stay away from them because of THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. Which has led me to think about that they are aliens which is perhaps slowly nonetheless definitely invading our planet and posing as folks in order to conquer the human species by sheer annoyance. ALIENS.

Successfully I purchased you discovered you foolish aliens. And I’m not happening with out a fight. I declare WAR on you One-Uppers (I assume the determine of your own home planet is Oneupperus). That’s correct. WAR. Nonetheless it’s happening non-violently. I wouldn’t present the satisfaction of unleashing an enormous can of whoop-ass on you (because of I assume, given your doc, that you’ve a keg of whoop-ass which is perhaps quite a bit greater than my can). I plan on doing this the Reverse methodology. By making you chuckle so arduous you pee yourselves after that are shamed (, because you peed your self) into leaving this planet. Moreover- when you bait me collectively together with your one-uppityness I am unable to get irritated, I am going to merely give you a look of pity because of, hey alien, I see your recreation for what it is. I’m no fool. And don’t assume I’m not going to “out” you to the world. Every single time you try to play the one-up card, I’ll reply by saying “Are you an alien?” BOOM. I merely rocked your world. Now you are going to must flee once more to Oneupperus because of I purchased all people fascinated by the way in which you most likely are an alien. BOOM BOOM. Take a look at me dropping reality bombs on you. In. Your. Faces. (Plural because of I’m pretty constructive you’ve got gotten a number of face…….WAIT……..are you in cahoots with the two-faces? Awww man- this warfare merely purchased all kinds of inter-galactic)

In conclusion, you’ve got gotten been found. And since my warfare on you isn’t violent, nonetheless I am going to nonetheless be saving my beloved planet Earth, I’m pretty constructive I’m going to get like 100 Nobel Peace Prizes. Moreover, I’m going to write down down a e e-book about our warfare after which I am going to win a Nobel Prize for Literature. One-up that suckas!!!!

picture 12 Epiphany+Kings of Leon+Glorious Imagery=Having it “All”

I wakened over the weekend. I woke as a lot as the reality that I have been deluded. Actually, I didn’t stand up to it- I merely talked about that to make it dramatic. The truth is I was laying on a therapeutic therapeutic massage desk getting the knots in my once more labored out. Anyway, all of the sudden, I grew to turn out to be extraordinarily acutely aware that I have been dwelling beneath a delusion. The reason I grew to turn out to be acutely aware of dwelling beneath a delusion was because of the thought “Someday, I’ll have all of it.” crossed my ideas. WHAT? Who instructed me that? Why on the earth must I “have all of it”? And, additional importantly, what is the “all”?

LIGHTBULB.

Concentrate, it’s been an especially troublesome week for me. And for the first time, the thought “Someday I’ll have all of it” didn’t make it greater. I seen um, hello there, I most likely acquired’t ever have all of it. There’ll always be worries and frustrations and struggles. There’ll even always be laughter and smiles and winks. Probably that’s what the “all” is. It’s each factor. It’s the great, unhealthy, and unimaginable. And we already have that. We always have that. So, there isn’t primarily a “someday” there is a yesterday, at current, and tomorrow- they usually’re filled with the “all”. Sure, there’ll in all probability be events when life is a suckfest. There’ll even be events when your life seems as if day after day of bliss. It’s all the “all”. True story. It’s best to take heed to me because of I had an existential catastrophe on a therapeutic therapeutic massage table- so , that’s like, legit.

Like I discussed, the thought “Someday I’ll have all of it” didn’t make me actually really feel greater. Nevertheless all the other concepts after it did make me actually really feel greater. And maybe it must have had the choice impression nonetheless I don’t assume I have to remind you that I’m reverse. I’ve type of odd and nonsensical responses to points. So, what? I’m going into at current determining that I’ve it “all”. Whether or not or not these days is nice or unhealthy or I get kidnapped or win the lottery (which is perhaps weird because of I don’t play the lottery) I had it “all” at current. All the experience life would possibly present me today- I had it.

Anyone else ever had an epiphany on a therapeutic therapeutic massage desk? Actually….don’t reply that, I actually really feel desire it would get inappropriate. Merely inform me while you’ve realized one thing about life lately- I don’t care the place it occurred.

Cheers to having it “all”! (If in case you’ve gotten study this submit at current it’s essential to know what I suggest by “all”. Do you have to didn’t study this submit, you then most likely assume I’m merely being truly cheerful and optimistic. So, each methodology, I really feel I look pretty good.)

picture 19 I take into consideration they provide the impression of being one factor like this.

The following account is completely true. (For my part)

My agency’s Thanksgiving potluck lunch is at current. So, I spent yesterday baking pumpkin cupcakes and apple pie. This story should not be about that. It’s about what occurred after I went to the grocery retailer to buy all the baking supplies I needed. It was a blistery night time time. The celebrities at night time time had been giant and good (clap clap clap clap deep throughout the coronary coronary heart of Texas. – You might solely get this while you’re from Texas. Do you have to aren’t from Texas then merely protect learning and accept there are some points you may certainly not understand about this weblog). I was on the grocery retailer late to stay away from the crowds. Little did I do know, I wasn’t alone.

Actually, I knew I wasn’t alone because of, duh, I was at a grocery retailer. Nevertheless that sounded additional ominous than “there have been on the very least 2o completely different people there, oh and as well as some ghosts.”

The ghosts had been prepared for me. Prepared to indicate my night time time proper into an advanced nightmare. I walked throughout the retailer with my grocery guidelines in hand. Come what may, I imagine it was the ghosts, time sped up and I found myself in an aisle totally alone and with out a grocery guidelines. Panic took over. My complete 2 hours with that guidelines flashed sooner than my eyes and I couldn’t help nonetheless reminisce regarding the time throughout the fruit aisle when that guidelines saved me from searching for solely 4 apples after I needed 8. Desperately, I seemed for my guidelines. It wasn’t in any of the usual areas, my purse, my pockets, my shoe. I paced up and down every aisle, looking out for the place I would want accidently set my guidelines down and walked away from it. How would possibly I’ve taken such advantage of it? Why did I’ve to lose it to know it? Then I seen, one factor else was afoot. I’m not usually that forgetful. In no way sooner than have I misplaced a list. I ended correct the place I was and, like Sherlock Holmes, used my logic to resolve the thriller of the kidnapped guidelines. The reply was really easy. Ghosts.

There was no completely different clarification. It wanted to be ghosts. Nevertheless what had I completed to offend them? How would possibly I contact them to debate the return of my beloved guidelines? Apparently, they weren’t throughout the mood to talk because of it would not matter what I did, no matter what variety of events I screamed out loud, or spoke in tongues, or did the “We now have to debate” dance, they wouldn’t reply. I’m solely left with one conclusion. The ghosts who haunt my grocery retailer are the ghosts of former hooligans who take the most effective pleasure in tomfoolery. My guess is that the grocery retailer was constructed on some kind of graveyard that was reserved for hooligans. Technique to assume ahead grocers. All people is conscious of you don’t assemble points on graveyards.

What else would possibly I do nonetheless proceed buying and depart my guidelines behind certainly not to be seen as soon as extra? I wanted to switch on with my life. If the situation was reversed I might want the guidelines to maneuver on. The hooligan ghosts win this time. I’ve a recreation plan for subsequent time though and with out going into an extreme quantity of detail- it consists of slingshots as peace decisions.

I share the story to warn you of the dangers of grocery retailer hooligan ghosts. No person seems to have ever talked about them sooner than, and I can solely assume that is because of people are afraid. Successfully, I’m not. I would really like the world to know that grocery retailer hooligan ghosts exist. I’m like a crusader (moreover this isn’t non secular and I truly acquired’t be killing anyone). I am the Norma Rae of the grocery retailer hooligan ghost enterprise. You’ve been warned. Inform your of us.

Get it? It was a play on the saying “phrase to your Mother”. I noticed that phrase from Vanilla Ice although I’m pretty constructive he didn’t offer you it.

I digress. This submit is about Wordle. Because of I like it. And it reveals stuff to you, like a fortune teller, moreover it isn’t one thing like a fortune teller. I reap the benefits of it for work pretty a bit and for inspiration in writing regularly. I actually like Wordle. It’s best to too. Because of I discussed so. Moreover, because of it’s good.

I took all my hottest posts and copied and pasted them into the magic Wordle machine and that’s what it revealed to me:

picture 12Primarily based on Wordle, I talk about my Grammy a lot. And Wordle is true, because of there is a Grammy submit coming this week as a result of it so happens.

Primarily based on Wordle, I say “like” a lot. Touche, Wordle. Correct as soon as extra.

Primarily based on Wordle, I ask the question “truly?” a lot. Really?

Primarily based on Wordle, I talk about pretty a bit about people. I do definitely and I’m glad to see that Wordle acknowledges my selfless need to help people and defend them from awkward moments, flirtation failures, and males in women’s restrooms. Clearly, I am nearly a dwelling saint who makes use of the power of the interweb to unfold her message of hope and sage advice. I certainly not realized how good of a person I was until Wordle instructed me. I suggest, I’m pretty constructive that’s what it’s trying to say. Thanks Wordle.

Primarily based on Wordle I am solely fairly concerned with all points “awkward”. You might have gotten this one mistaken Wordle because of I am nearly totally consumed with awkward points. My life is kind of a strolling tour of awkward-ville. True story.

Primarily based on Wordle, I talk about Mondays pretty a bit. I hate Mondays. Besides they’re holidays, by which case, they’re very good. I really feel Wordle is trying to tell me to offer Mondays a possibility, and as well as, stop talking about them because of people are getting precise sick of listening to about it. I acknowledge Wordle’s honesty.

I’m shocked to not see the phrase “douche bag” on this. Nevertheless then as soon as extra, I didn’t use all my posts to create this, merely my hottest ones. I can deduce from this that people don’t want to listen to about douche-bags. Too unhealthy guys, because of I uncover douche baggage too amusing to not write about them.

I actually like Wordle, I really feel it’s good, and amusing, and totally diverting. There are lots of fonts and layouts and hues to pick out from and I would truly spend all day on Wordle. Phrase clouds are fulfilling. Severely. I’ve found Wordle to be an absolute gem with reference to serving to me get impressed by my writing. As soon as I’ve written pretty a bit, I merely copy and paste it into Wordle and see what phrases I’m using most. It truly helps aim my writing and has however to fail in giving me a little bit of improve in writing energy. It’s possible you’ll as effectively enter in any website online or weblog that has an RSS feed and it will create a surprising little picture of your phrases (although I really feel it solely does the first internet web page of your weblog because of after I did this “zombies” and “candy” had been by far my largest words- which is superior nonetheless not totally appropriate while you take the complete weblog into account so I truly assume it merely does the first internet web page.) I encourage you, nay, I demand that you just all Wordle correct now!!! I truly assume you may desire it, significantly while you’re a writer or blogger or every. Or solely a one who likes pretty colors.

At the moment’s Lesson: It’s best to Wordle. Your Mother must Wordle. End of story.

picture 120 This is not what the online does.

I seen the other day that I’ve been using the online as some type of oracle. Googling questions like “What will I eat for dinner?”, “What is going on to happen on Glee?”, “Will I ever keep in a haunted dwelling?”, and “Am I going to be kidnapped by aliens or eaten by dinosaurs?” You notice, like, truly important points. Nevertheless guess what? I’m 97% constructive that isn’t what the online does. It isn’t a fortune teller. Go decide. So, I really feel to myself- “Self, I assume quite a few completely different people use the online as an oracle too.” and what? Myself was correct. A number of folks do use the online as an oracle. Nonetheless it isn’t an oracle. It’s the online. Let me lay some particulars on you.

4,500 people a month look for “What will I eat for dinner?”

74,000 people a month search “What is going on to happen on Glee?”

2,500 people a month search “Will I ever keep in a haunted dwelling?”

6,600 people look for “Will I be kidnapped by aliens?”

110 people a month look for “Will I be eaten by a dinosaur?” (So, truly it’s most likely merely me and like maybe a 6 yr earlier with  nightmares)

And these are solely primarily probably the most ridiculous however superior questions. Let’s check out some questions which is perhaps a lot much less ridiculous and subsequently a lot much less superior nonetheless important to consider nonetheless.

49,500 people a month look for “Will I uncover love?”

18,100 people a month look for “Will I uncover a job?”

12,100 people a month look for “Will I get fat?”

1,900 people a month look for “Will I die alone?” (As soon as extra, that’s most likely merely me and that nervousness ridden 6 yr earlier.)

All of these people are asking the online questions that it could’t in all probability reply with any accuracy. Although, it’s most likely additional appropriate than the Renaissance Trustworthy fortune teller I’m going to. (Merely kidding, I don’t desire a fortune teller. I’m a contact clairvoyant so I can nearly take care of myself prediction-wise). And anyway most of the outcomes you get are quizzes written by 15 yr olds and horoscopes written by “Astrologists” ( Concentrate, while you aren’t a centaur then I  don’t have any faith in your star learning skills. Anyone who reads Chronicles of Narnia or Harry Potter is conscious of you might solely perception centaurs to exactly study the celebs.) So I don’t understand how helpful that is in offering you with a sound reply to your question. And I’m questioning if this can be a matter of “Probably the online is magic.” or additional like a problem of “I’m feeling lonely/sad/scared/begiggity and no one is spherical to produce comfort except for my computer.” Each methodology, I really feel it’s important that every one of us acknowledge that the online should not be an oracle. It’s various information (albeit not always respected information) and whereas it will make us actually really feel rapidly better- it could’t really reply our future based questions. You might as properly ask me, on the very least that I’m a contact clairvoyant and my predictions might really happen. Perhaps. Typically. When it rains.

Actually, I assume Google would possibly decide a choice to make the online inform the long run. (Observe- If Google does decide a choice to make the online inform the long run it was my idea and I must get a share of the revenue moreover throughout the case that Google figures out a choice to make the online inform the long run and it causes the world to complete then it was not my idea and I shouldn’t must take the blame. )

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