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For Really Real, I’m A Blogger.

This is the girl who is blogging about you. For real yo. She’s standing on a crocodile and she’s blogging about you. That’s just how she rolls.
Whenever I meet new people, I always try to work it in to the conversation that I’m a blogger. Not because I’m bragging but because I think it’s fair warning. You know, like how people used to fire warning shots around your feet before they shot you in the face.
You see, I WILL blog about them. I mean, if they do something funny, or weird, or awkward, or inappropriate, I’m going to blog about it. So, it’s only fair for me to warn them so they can censor themselves if they want to. The best part? They never censor themselves. Not ever. Usually I get a patronizing or snarky response like “Oh? You’re a blogger? That’s cute.” or “You blog? Who doesn’t?” and I love those response because they’re basically saying “You should totally blog about the really stupid and embarrassing thing I’m about to do.” and then when I do blog about that stupid and embarrassing thing they did they can’t even be mad at me because they practically begged me to blog about them. It’s science.
It’s like how cops have to tell you they’re cops if you ask. I HAVE to tell people I’m a blogger in order to protect their rights, but if they choose to ignore that information then I’m pretty much obligated to blog about the things they do that make me laugh. Again, it’s science.
You know something? I think blogging has made me a lot better at science.

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