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I Could Be A Mall Cop |  - Photograph

I Could Be A Mall Cop |

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Yall, it turns out I have a knack for riding segways. Sure, I was kind of scared to get on it. Sure, I am the only one who fell off, but I think that is because the Segway was trying to challenge me once it realized I was such an accomplished rider. What I’m trying to say is that I think I would be a great mall cop. Outside of the fact that I am now an excellent Segway rider, I have a dislike of hooligans and shoplifters and have always felt I had an untested talent for disrupting and thwarting plots against malls.

In case you can’t tell, I am the one doing Segway jazz hands in the picture. You know how I do.

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