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I Have A Theory - Portrait

I Weebled. I Wobbled. But I Didn’t Fall Down.

August 6, 2010 by
That’s a lie. I did fall down. I totally ate it. And I hurt myself. I hurt myself bad. I mean, I didn’t break any bones or bleed but I definitely probably will have a bruise.
Nobody saw it happen so I really don’t have to share my humiliation. But I am. You’re welcome. I hope you get a laugh out of this.
Picture it- parking garage at my office. I’m getting out of my car. No. Not anymore. Now, I’m somehow falling out of my car. Half of me is in the car. Half of me is not in the car. I’m in a precarious position here. I’m not sure how to recover from this without hurting myself worse. I’m hanging by a leg. Literally. My right leg (which is still stuck in the car) is the only thing anchoring me. What to do? What to do?
One time, someone told me I just had to let myself fall. I’m pretty sure they meant it to be about love. Probably. But I decided to take that advice and apply it to my current situation. So I fell. And it was embarrassing. I’m embarrassed. Happily, as I mentioned before, no one saw me do it. Although, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure there are cameras in the parking garage. I bet all the security guards who zoom around on their segways are watching me fall over and over again in their little office. Jerks. They should be ashamed. Even though it was definitely really funny. Not to me. But, yeah ok, to me too.
I hope I made you laugh. Keep in mind I literally sacrificed my body to make you laugh so if you aren’t laughing then you are a really bad person.
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