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Is This Why I Haven’t Won A Golden Globe?

January 14, 2013 by
I image (frequently) what it would be like to win a Golden Globe. Or an Oscar. Or, you know, the lottery. And when I imagine that, I imagine what my acceptance speech would sound like. And I imagine it would be eloquent and clever and sincere and would make everyone cry from it’s beauty. And then I remember who I am, and what my acceptance speech would really sound like….
“Oh my word y’all. Y’all. This is crazy y’all. Y’all. Y’all. Thank y’all. Thank you. Thanks. Seriously, y’all? For really real? Y’all! This is so crazy y’all! Oh my word. Y’all.”
And then I might say a curse word, because I don’t always handle things appropriately. But mostly, it would be a lot of “y’all”.
Is that why I’ve never even gotten close to getting close to being nominated for a Golden Globe? I suspect yes. I also suspect Steven Spielberg is somehow behind this.
Also, I think that if you can’t even go to the awards, you shouldn’t be allowed to win. I’m just sayin.
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