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I Owe My Sister An Apology |  - Image

Kick-Ass Grammy

June 23, 2011 by
The following is a real telephone conversation I had with my Grammy last night.
Grammy: Sweetheart, I wanted you to know you’re still invited to lunch tomorrow even though your Aunt and Uncle are coming into town.
Me: Was I ever not still invited?
Grammy: You were always invited. We already had a date.
Me: I feel like you maybe thought about uninviting me.
Grammy: I did no such thing!
Me: I’ll see you at 11:30.
Grammy: Ok, I made cupcakes.
Me: I can’t eat cupcakes, I’m on a diet.
Grammy: Oh, well I have some ice-cream.
Me: Um…..remember that time I was on a diet. It’s still that time.
Grammy: Well, I can make cookies instead.
Me: You see, the point of a diet is usually to not eat dessert.
Grammy: No dessert at all??!
Me: None.
Grammy: Well, we will find you something.
Me: Again, there is no need. I can do without.
Grammy: We’ll just see how you feel tomorrow.
Me: Fair enough. Hey! Someone nominated my blog for this award today and they said one of the reasons was because I had a “kick-ass Grammy”.
Grammy: What did I ever do to him?
Me: It’s a compliment.
Grammy: Cursing me out doesn’t seem like a compliment.
Me: It is definitely a compliment.
Grammy: I don’t even know what that means. No one has ever called me that to my face before.
Me: No one is really calling you that to your face now. It means you’re awesome.
Grammy: People only think I’m awesome because you write me to be awesome.
Me: All I do is blog about the stuff you really say.
Grammy: That’s true. Are your doors locked?
Me: Uh, yes.
Grammy: Do you know where your baseball bat is?
Me: Yes mam.
Grammy: Ok. I just like to know these things.
Me: Goodnight Grammy.
Thanks Coop for the award, the best part of which was this conversation with my Grammy. Quality stuff. I owe you one.

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