I have a theory on life. It’s really brilliant. It’s called the Dory theory. It goes a little something like this- “just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”
If you didn’t get the Finding Nemo reference then I don’t know why you are reading my blog. You probably don’t belong here if you haven’t seen that movie. Or maybe you do. Maybe you need my blog for that very reason. Who’s to say? Go ahead and keep reading.
In life, you just have to keep swimming. If you stop swimming you will die, like sharks. I don’t know how you you feel about it but I think dying like a shark is probably in the top 10 of worst ways to die. I mean, they can breathe under water and they still drown- and then they just float there and then killer whales eat them and then killer whales poop them out and then fish eat the killer whale shark poop and then those fish poop out the shark poop and plankton eat the shark fish poop. Dreadful. And sad. Poor sharks. I’m sorry to get so graphic but I really wanted to emphasize how important it is to keep swimming.
Maybe, if you are a mermaid this doesn’t seem like such a hard thing to do. Touche mermaid- you have a point. For those of us who aren’t mermaids (and I’m just guessing here but I think the majority of us aren’t mermaids) we have a harder time of it. I think what makes it so hard is that it doesn’t involve actual swimming- I mean it could if you were like shipwrecked and in the middle of the ocean because you would definitely need to be literally swimming in that scenario- but what I mean really is to keep going. Keep living even when it seems impossible and you are overwhelmed by everything. I guess my motto could be “just keep living” but that sounds lame and isn’t metaphorical and doesn’t have a song associated with it.
And sometimes things are really awful and you just want to stay in bed all day watching reality TV (which, let’s be honest makes everything worse) and eating ice cream. But you can’t do that. I mean sure, maybe if it’s like a weekend then it would be ok but on Monday you just have to start swimming again. Why? I don’t know because that’s life. Because I said so? Maybe. Not convinced? Yeah, I’m doing a pretty bad job of explaining it.
What I mean is that if you keep swimming- keep living as best you can- then things will get better. I promise (in a non-binding sort of way). That isn’t to say nothing bad will happen, I know bad things happen all the time and sometimes they happen to me but I just sing the just keep swimming song to myself and carry on. Because at the very least, when things suck, you at least get a song out of it. In fact, maybe I should change my motto to “just sing a song.” That works too.
Ok- so to recap, you should just keep swimming and sing songs. This may be the best life motto ever. And I’m giving it to you for free. Which I think makes me qualified for sainthood when I die.
Really this is Saint Dympna. Patron saint of the mentally ill, incest victims, and runaways. I may go to hell for this.