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march madness |  - Opinion

march madness |

You know the way people compulsively check their phone for texts/calls when they are waiting to hear from someone they have a crush on?

That is the way I am right now about checking my SportsCenter app for the Baylor Basketball score.


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Kentucky outplayed us. That’s a fact. (As vomitrocious as it tastes) We were technically the road team. That’s also a fact. Nevertheless, when the most honorable and wise Scott Drew petitioned the NCAA to let Baylor wear their neon jerseys (home jerseys) because they had instilled such confidence and luck in the team (We won every tournament game we played in them) the NCAA should have let us. Fact. But, they didn’t. They refused Scott Drew’s request and stripped Baylor of their good luck charm. I would like to challenge the NCAA to a duel.

I understand why they didn’t – technically. It was a technicality. It was also a giant load of bollocks and the NCAA knows it. Had the situation been reversed and Kentucky had petitioned to wear jerseys made of strobe lights, I guarantee they would have been allowed to do so. We were playing a number 1 seed practically in their backyard- the NCAA should have let us wear whatever the hell we wanted. Pink tutus, leopard print unitards, nothing should have been off the table. Personally, I would have liked to see Quincy Acy wearing a leopard print unitard. All we asked was to wear our signature neon yellow jerseys but nooooooo the NCAA is afraid of colors that don’t appear in nature. What a bunch of sons of silly persons.

J’Accuse NCAA. J’Accuse. Also, I challenge you all to a Scrabble duel. Prepare to be humiliated. I went to Baylor University and I know lots of really big words.

In other news- Sic ‘Em Lady Bears!!!!!

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You may have heard of this sickness that is going around, it’s called March Madness and once a year it infects millions of college basketball fans. Alas, I am one of the infected. And by “alas” I mean, “Hell yeah! It’s March Madness baby!!! Whoop whoop!” So, as you can tell, I’ve got the March Madness pretty badly. Luckily, my madness has cleared long enough (it’s a commercial break) for me to think of a few potential cures for my Springtime ailment.

1. April 3

2. A constant diet of sno-cones. I think the sugar high would really help clear my head.

3. Baseball season

Commercial break is over now and I can feel the madness taking over again. Soon, I’ll be jumping on my couch, cursing like a sailor, and demanding that college basketball players perform miracles on the court. Send sno-cones stat!

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