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No matter my love for Marvel, I didn’t go see Captain America: Civil Warfare because of I merely can’t bear to have a look at mates battle.

What variety of events can you watch Elf, sooner than it turns into, like, TOO many events? Asking for a buddy.

Whereas introducing my cousins to the Harry Potter movies…

Bomb-dignity cousin: Is Dobby evil?

Me: WHAT? No. Dobby is nice.

Spiderwoman cousin: Nonetheless does he grow to be evil?

Me: Dobby is an environment friendly and free elf! He is not at all evil – solely good and free!

(Realizes we’re solely on the very beginning of The Chamber of Secrets and techniques and strategies)

Me: Oh. Uh. Spoiler alert: Dobby will get freed.

Moreover, for the doc, my cousins chosen their very personal pseudonyms for the weblog. Shout out to Bomb-diggity and Spiderwoman!

That’s my 752nd weblog publish ever on this weblog and Captain America opens in theaters within the current day. Each little factor is growing GotC y’all.

Strategies we should at all times all have a great time:

1. Go see Captain America after which debate it endlessly inside the suggestions a part of this publish.

2. Wine popsicles.

3. Dance.

4. Jazz arms.

5. Chili cheese burritos.

6. Do a dance that entails jazz arms after consuming chili cheese burritos for dinner and having wine popsicles for dessert sooner than going to see Captain America after which talking about it endlessly inside the suggestions a part of this publish.

I consider y’all can guess which method I am celebrating…….

Sunday night, I acquired it in my head that nothing would make me so utterly happy as watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Nonetheless, alas, I could not uncover my DVD wherever.

Then, I turned on the TV and it was merely starting on ABC! The very movie I wanted to have a look at larger than one thing!

I’m pretty constructive I made that happen. WITH MAGIC.

Closing Friday, I accompanied Captain Thoughtful and our wonderful buddy, affectionately known as The Yeti, to see Fast & Furious 6. BECAUSE I’M A GOOD WIFE Y’ALL.

screen shot 2013 05 25 at 12 09 39 am

Listed under are my concepts.

1. Opening montage is fundamental. Pure cheesy gold. Or golden cheese.

2. Nonetheless…whaaaaa…..????

3. You presumably can’t take a totally intact bullet out of your private shoulder with out on the very least a mirror. And likewise, possibly not in that case each.

4. Nonetheless. Nonetheless….PHYSICS. You presumably can’t change authorized tips of physics. You presumably can’t. NO.

5. Tanks aren’t that fast.

6. (Throws arms in air, shrugs shoulders, and waits patiently for subsequent dance movie Captain Thoughtful now ought to accompany me to)

7. Moreover? Jason Statham is EVERYWHERE.

Humor pause for public service announcement. 

On the true though y’all, if in case you’ve got ever been in a very unhealthy vehicle accident, that’s possibly not the movie to see. Just a few of it is potential you will don’t forget that in 2011, I was in a very essential vehicle accident. My vehicle rolled and I was trapped. Watching this movie launched once more some not excellent flashbacks. Moreover, and I’m constructive you all know this, nonetheless do you have to’re in a vehicle accident and your vehicle hits partitions and rolls, that is not one factor that you just stroll away from merely and of your private volition. Perception me. In case you’ve been in a foul accident, presumably transfer on this movie, even the hilariously cheesy however someway nonetheless totally superior dialogue doesn’t make the accident scenes less complicated to have a look at.

We now return to our ceaselessly scheduled humor.

Need I say additional? Positive? Okay efficient. They (meaning the powers that hate me) are re-releasing Jurassic Park in 3D. On account of it wasn’t ample to make me have 2D waking nightmares, no, they want me to have 3D waking nightmares the place a TRex and a Raptor bounce out and try and eat me from a movie show display screen. On account of Steven Spielberg hates me. There could also be truly no completely different clarification, I indicate, he can’t be doing this for the money. No, it’s not in regards to the money. It’s about inflicting as lots terror on me as doable by dinosaurs. Sure, some might argue that that’s merely avoidable by not seeing the movie, nonetheless they is perhaps WRONG. Improper because of I’ve already been terrified by a 3D preview that bought right here on as soon as I used to be seeing one different not-at-all-dinosaur-related movie. At first, I didn’t think about what was occurring after which A TREX JUMPED OUT OF THE SCREEN AT ME AND THEN BLACKNESS because of I each handed out or my thoughts is making an attempt to protect me by blocking the memory, moreover no foolish thoughts you blocked out the unsuitable half. I indicate, clearly I’m not going to see it. Nonetheless merely the reality that it’s occurring proves a level. Mr. Spielberg hates my guts.

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