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Realizations - Polo neck


picture 13 This epiphany was far more eco-friendly than the ultimate one.

I had one different epiphany. You’re almost certainly pondering, “Wait, didn’t she merely have an epiphany like two days previously?” The reply is certain. Positive I did. Then, at current, I had one different. So that makes my epiphany rely two for the ultimate week. Spectacular, no?

Anyway, I was talking about how loads I like penning this weblog and the best way marvelous my readers are after I spotted that we truly don’t know that loads about one another. I plan on rectifying that at current. What follows are the ought to know information about aka me.

1. My favorite actor is Alan Alda. I like him with my full coronary coronary heart. Comedy, drama, writing. The particular person is an actual legend.

2. My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut. Although, you probably already knew that.

3. I would eat Italian meals regularly of my life.

4. I observe yoga twice a day. Morning and night. I am SO zen.

5. I like hand-written taking part in playing cards or notes.

6. I miss Uganda every single day that I’m not there.

7. I’ve two canines. A boy named Hansel and a girl named Liesel.

8. I like frozen yogurt.

9. If I had a cagillion {{dollars}}, I would spend my full life touring the world and writing about it.

10. My favorite information isn’t by my favorite author. My favorite information is Shadow of the Photo voltaic by Ryszard Kapuscinski.

11. I utterly love the Ricky Gervais current “Extras” and watch and re-watch the episodes regularly.

12. Once I’ve a really truly horrible day, all I want to do is watch Disney movies.

13. I re-read all 7 Chronicles of Narnia every December. I was given the sphere set of the books after I used to be 10 and have been learning them every since. High-of-the-line Christmas gadgets ever!

14. My favorite coloration is inexperienced.

15. I drink heaps and plenty of tea.

16. I attempt to make every issue I say a tune lyric. That options singing it. One different little recognized actuality is, my sister utterly hates that I try this.

17. Regardless of how spicy one factor I’m consuming is, I add Tabasco.

18. My favorite piece of furnishings is a brown rocking recliner. My Popsie used to rock me in it after I used to be a baby and after I used to be 20 and going by one in every of many hardest situations of my life, he gave it to me. It is every comforting and cozy. Moreover, so retro.

19. When at a Starbucks, I on a regular basis order a non-fat chai tea latte. It’s my drink.

20. I truly want a chia pet.

21. I’ve on a regular basis wanted to placed on a tuxedo.

22. Throughout the case of a zombie apocalype, I really feel I’m screwed.

23. No one ever expects it of me, nevertheless I am a HUGE American soccer fan. I moreover love soccer aka soccer with an equal passion. If it’s known as soccer wherever on the planet, chances are I LOVE it.

24. I would play board video video games all day prolonged.

25. I truly truly love marshmallows.

I actually really feel like if I write higher than 25 information down then I am merely being self-indulgent so you will merely want to check the remaining over time. What I would like to take heed to about now are some little recognized or well-known (utterly as a lot as you the best way recognized you want your information to be) information about you, my darling readers. Please share! I’m in pretty a sharing mood at current.

picture 14

I went to Starbucks the alternative day. I walked in, I stood in line. I seen that people have been type of smiling at me in an indulgent way- the best way through which you take a look at a toddler after they’re telling a decrease than amusing story nevertheless you want to encourage them to proceed so that you just smile and try to adjust to alongside. Then, I noticed one factor. They weren’t smiling at me indulgently, they’ve been smiling at me uncomfortably. The entire of us in line at Starbucks have been very uncomfortable. And it was on account of me. What would possibly I’ve carried out, you might shock, to make all of these of us (and there have been a lot of people in there) so uncomfortable? At first, I had no thought, after which I noticed one factor. I. WAS. SINGING. I was singing out loud. I was singing at loud at Starbucks. Granted, it was a terrific tune I was singing- and really they should thank me for exposing them to such stellar music. All of the an identical though, I can understand why they’ve been uncomfortable. I suggest, being spherical individuals who discover themselves clearly bonkers shall be awkward. I accept that- I merely in no way realized that what I truly needed to simply settle for was that I was the one who was bonkers. Nevertheless clearly, I am utterly mad. I was singing in public and didn’t even perceive it. As soon as extra, it was a terrific tune, nevertheless nonetheless.

I’m uncertain if that’s the worst half or top-of-the-line half, nevertheless I wasn’t all that embarrassed. I merely type of shrugged, ordered my espresso, and went my merry technique. As a minimum some of us purchased an outstanding story out of it. Nevertheless you perceive, I’m questioning, if in some unspecified time sooner or later, I must be nervous because of this incident all by itself is hilarious and harmless nevertheless coupled with ultimate weeks “dancing” I am starting to question my sanity. Am I becoming further Mad Hatter and fewer Alice? When of us search recommendation from me as “eccentric” (which I’ve on a regular basis taken as an immense reward) do they really suggest “insane’?

My Mom says no. She says that it’s good that I am so uninhibited. I’m pondering that maybe I should get some inhibitions. Then, my Mom really reminded me that I had enough inhibitions in heart school to ultimate me a lifetime. The lady makes an outstanding stage.

The Mad Hatter and Alice weren’t all that utterly totally different anyway. All of the an identical, I truly hope they let me weblog on the asylum.

picture 119 Devil hen.

I was merely sitting in my fourth flooring office, working away similar to the little worker bee I am when all of the sudden an unlimited scary face appeared in my window. My coronary coronary heart skipped a beat, I jumped a few mile throughout the air, and an nearly inaudible screech escaped my lips. I was startled to say the least. Fortuitously, motive shortly returned and I noticed quickly it couldn’t be a face throughout the window- I work on the fourth flooring. Till someone has jumped only a few steps in evolution and is now in a position to flying there is no such thing as a such factor as a way a face may probably be in my window. Otherwise you perceive, I assume it may need been a window-washer nevertheless flying makes for a considerably higher story. Anyway, I assume it doesn’t truly matter as a result of it wasn’t a person the least bit, I’m merely saying a flying explicit particular person could be cool.

What that scary face actually was, was a devil crow bent on my destruction. That hen was so scary it actually scared the hell into me in its place of out of me. And it merely saved coming once more and flying correct at my window and terrifying me. This hen was like super smart/evil. It was using my peripheral imaginative and prescient in direction of me. It’s similar to the devil crow knew I would solely catch a quick view of it and that I might misinterpret that quick view as one factor like an evil floating face, or ghost, or evil sprite. Which, by the best way through which, are all truly low-cost conclusions to leap to when pictures of points appear in your window. And the devil crow knew this. It knew me. It knew all my concepts and fears and hopes and needs and was making an attempt to utilize them in direction of me. Like Freddy Krueger makes use of needs in direction of of us to kill them. That’s Freddy Krueger correct? I don’t truly watch scary movies because of my creativeness is already pretty overactive and just a bit twisted and I don’t actually need in order so as to add further points to freak myself out with. The aim is that the devil hen was some type of evil genius hen that for some motive unbeknownst to me was hell-bent on scaring me to lack of life. And maybe possessing my soul. I’m not too clear on the details.

The worst half was the devil hen launched buddies. More and more evil birds flew at my window. And now I really feel I’m cursed. I suggest, that many devil birds exterior your office window means you’re cursed correct? I’m utterly cursed. These birds want blood. My blood. Aw geez. That’s unhealthy you guys. Demise by killer devil birds.

picture 24

Not even Alfred Hitchcock would possibly decide a way for me to get out of this. I’m doomed.

picture 118 This rock and I’ve a lot in widespread.

Who knew I had a line? Not me.

So, I’m writing some posts and easily type of spouting off and by no means enhancing myself (not that I ever edit myself because of perception me, I don’t). After I be taught once more over what I had merely written and it was one factor alongside these traces, “maybe, in case you be taught my weblog, you may be feeding a ravenous child.” And as I be taught that and realized that I had actually written it- I assumed “Okay reverse one, ravenous youngsters jokes cross the street.” after which I assumed in response to that, “Wait, I’ve a line???”  I suggest, I in no way say points that principally offend of us (like discriminatory points) nevertheless I’ve normally been heard saying points that one might think about as “off-color” you perceive, like points that aren’t offensive nevertheless are nonetheless inappropriate or cringe-worthy. Usually points which have been referred to as “harsh” nevertheless boy oh boy after I be taught what I wrote about ravenous children- I wanted to step once more and re-evaluate my life.

I’m not going to weblog about what I found after I re-evaluated my life because of I don’t want to freak you out. I suggest, usually I’m not nervous about whether or not or not or not you’re freaked out- nevertheless the model new may very well be very nervous about freaking you out. Because of I freaked myself out just a bit bit. There’s quite a lot of crazy stuff on this head of mine. You solely get a small dose of it. Oops, I am going to have merely freaked you out. Okay- the model new new goes to aim truly onerous to not freak you out. Almost definitely. Although my making an attempt onerous might suggest I am going to try onerous until I neglect about it. Which can be tomorrow. Or sooner. Sorry.

So, just so we’re clear. Ravenous youngsters jokes utterly cross the street. Please make an observation of that. Because of learning this weblog does not feed any youngsters. It doesn’t even feed me.

picture 113 It’s an identical to this- solely faster

Exactly one week previously at current, I was Freshly Pressed.  I was truly astonished. Totally taken off guard. And above all overjoyed. I felt giddy all day prolonged, I couldn’t think about the number of visits I was getting and I truly couldn’t think about the amount of suggestions. It was an actual working a weblog extreme.

Nevertheless with every extreme comes a low. Not going that low of a low nevertheless a low nonetheless ( I suggest want it’s lower than the extreme nevertheless not by that  loads). It was onerous to watch my stats fall the following day and the following and the following. And regardless that my weblog stays to be receiving further views than ever sooner than (and perception me I am grateful for every one amongst them) I am feeling quite a lot of stress (self-imposed) to proceed writing Freshly Pressed worthy posts. And that is onerous. And you will need to shock, does WordPress hate my weblog? Because of it seems to be as if WordPress ought to search out out about the entire stress that  comes with being Freshly Pressed. And maybe they positioned on you Freshly Pressed to utterly burn you out in order that they in no way must see your weblog that they hate as soon as extra. After which I’ve to shock, am I being neurotic and ridiculous? And the reply to that is certain.

The issue regarding the Freshly Pressed roller-coaster is that it is truly fast nevertheless it’s normally like top-of-the-line roller-coaster ever (because you truly steer clear of that stomach in your throat feeling). So that you just want to journey it as soon as extra. And as soon as extra. Nevertheless it isn’t as a lot as you- merely because you similar to the roller-coaster doesn’t suggest you get to journey it as soon as extra. It is vital to earn it. Nevertheless it’s onerous to predict what will earn it and what acquired’t. So I assume the moral to this story is that being Freshly Pressed is wise nevertheless you’ll have more and more extra of that brilliance and also you would possibly truly screw your self up working to get further of it. So don’t screw your self up. Preserve cool, write what you write, and do you to the fullest (I heard a really douchey man say that when nevertheless I can’t help nevertheless repeat it on this event, forgive me). Moreover, that’s all advice I’m giving myself (because of if I write it after which take a look at it later it can seemingly be like one other particular person is telling me after which maybe I am going to take the advice.) nevertheless I hope it helps totally different of us too (because of I’m truly generous and well-meaning).

And now I’m realizing that this publish isn’t very humorous and humorous is what purchased me on Freshly Pressed. So it’s like I’m writing a publish about making an attempt to handle a certain commonplace and that publish is certainly beneath the necessities I’m writing about. Balls. Irony sucks.

picture 17 MichelArt.internet

I’m making an attempt very onerous to not say the phrase “utterly” anymore. Why? Because of I had a unusual second of readability the alternative day and realized I sound similar to the movie Valley Girl. This movie is totally splendidly horrible. A fundamental. And though I am going to have the benefit of watching it, I would reasonably lose my voice utterly than seems like the entire girls on this movie. Listed below are some examples of the problems they’re saying…

” Like, utterly.”

“Fully to the max!”

“Gag me with a spoon. Fully.”

Uncover a growth? It’s the phrase “utterly”. And I’ve “utterly” been saying “utterly” technique too normally. I don’t know how it wormed it’s technique into my speech like a language parasite nevertheless it undoubtedly did. The complete sudden I am emphasizing all of the items I say with the phrase “utterly”. It’s like my sentence doesn’t suggest as loads if I don’t have a “utterly” in it. Horrible. Shameful. Ridiculous.

I noticed this embarrassing actuality about myself at work after I used to be in a gathering with a client. The complete sudden it hit me that I had merely used the phrase “utterly” 3 situations within the an identical sentence. Gag. I couldn’t even think about what I was listening to myself say. The additional I talked the additional I noticed I sounded similar to the world’s most ridiculous woman on the planet. I was, like utterly, humiliating myself to the max, ya’ll. Truly.

It’s not that I’ve a difficulty with the phrase utterly per se. I merely suppose it is overused and abused throughout the the English language. I merely don’t want to sound like a highschool cheerleader because of (shocker) I’m not a highschool cheerleader. I’m a grown-up (okay I can hear you laughing from proper right here…) I’m a minimal of a by hook or by crook grown-up so I ought to aim to speak like a by hook or by crook grown-up. Correct? Actually, the additional I give it some thought the additional I perceive I sound little or no like a grown-up most of the time. Huh. I’m having one different lightbulb second……

Okay- new function is to not eradicate “utterly” from my speech regularly, merely from my client conferences. Neglect being a grown-up I want to be a highschool cheerleader! (I truly don’t want be a highschool cheerleader)

You see how I modified my ideas in the midst of this publish? That’s why they identify me reverse. And so it is.

I’ve an idea on life. It’s truly smart. It’s known as the Dory idea. It goes just a bit one factor like this- “merely preserve swimming, merely preserve swimming, merely preserve swimming…”

If you happen to occur to didn’t get the Discovering Nemo reference then I don’t know why you may be learning my weblog. You probably don’t belong proper right here in case you haven’t seen that movie. Or maybe you do. Presumably you need my weblog for that very motive. Who’s to say? Go ahead and preserve learning.

In life, you merely want to keep up swimming. If you happen to occur to stop swimming you will die, like sharks. I don’t know how you you’re feeling about it nevertheless I really feel dying like a shark may be throughout the excessive 10 of worst strategies to die. I suggest, they will breathe beneath water they normally nonetheless drown- after which they solely float there after which killer whales eat them after which killer whales poop them out after which fish eat the killer whale shark poop after which these fish poop out the shark poop and plankton eat the shark fish poop. Dreadful. And sad. Poor sharks. I’m sorry to get so graphic nevertheless I truly wanted to stress how important it is to preserve swimming.

picture 113Presumably, in case you’re a mermaid this doesn’t appear to be such a tricky issue to do. Touche mermaid- you have gotten some extent. For these of us who aren’t mermaids (and I’m merely guessing proper right here nevertheless I really feel the overwhelming majority of us aren’t mermaids) we have a extra sturdy time of it. I really feel what makes it so onerous is that it doesn’t include exact swimming- I suggest it would in case you have got been like shipwrecked and in the midst of the ocean since you’d undoubtedly needs to be truly swimming in that scenario- nevertheless what I suggest truly is to keep up going. Preserve dwelling even when it seems unattainable and also you may be overwhelmed by all of the items. I assume my motto may probably be “merely preserve dwelling” nevertheless that sounds lame and isn’t metaphorical and doesn’t have a tune associated to it.

And usually points are literally horrible and likewise you merely want to hold in mattress all day watching actuality TV (which, let’s be honest makes all of the items worse) and consuming ice cream. Nevertheless you could’t do that. I suggest sure, maybe if it’s like a weekend then will probably be okay nevertheless on Monday you merely have to start swimming as soon as extra. Why? I don’t know because of that’s life. Because of I acknowledged so? Presumably. Not glad? Yeah, I’m doing a fairly unhealthy job of explaining it.

What I suggest is that in case you preserve swimming- preserve dwelling as biggest you can- then points will get greater. I promise (in a non-binding type of technique). That isn’t to say nothing unhealthy will happen, I do know unhealthy points happen regularly and usually they happen to me nevertheless I merely sing the merely preserve swimming tune to myself and stick with it. Because of on the very least, when points suck, you a minimal of get a tune out of it. In actuality, maybe I ought to alter my motto to “merely sing a tune.” That works too.

Okay- so to recap, you will need to merely preserve swimming and sing songs. This may be top-of-the-line life motto ever. And I’m giving it to you with out spending a dime. Which I really feel makes me licensed for sainthood after I die.

picture 114 Saint .

Truly that’s Saint Dympna. Patron saint of the mentally unwell, incest victims, and runaways. I am going to go to hell for this.

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