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We live in a world where I can have a giant glass of red wine while taking a statistics course online. I am drinking in class and it’s ok. It’s better than ok, it’s grand! I am learning math while imbibing fermented grapes. This is real. And I’m pretty sure it makes me better at math. Thank you Internet and winemakers and universities. You are the dream team of my heart.

When you are a 30 year old grad student  surrounded by a horde of 18 year old undergrads, sometimes things get shouty. Here is a list of things I yelled at 18 year olds on campus this week.

1. Use the crosswalk you anarchists! Do you think cars won’t hit you because you’re being so rebellious and walking in the middle of the street? Motor vehicles don’t respect your devil may care attitude. They will hit you. Hard.   Damn!

2. I don’t understand any words you’re saying. Use real words!

3. Don’t you dare compare NSYNC to One Direction. Don’t. You. Dare.

I am officially an old y’all. But, it’s not so bad because I can legally buy booze and don’t have to share a bathroom with 20 other people. So, I have that going for me.

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