You know that thing where your team makes it to a bowl game and then loses it in the 4th quarter? And then that team makes it to the NCAA tournament aka March Madness and then loses in the second round? And then you cry and cry and your tears are green and gold? That thing? It’s called being a Baylor fan.
I happen to be a pretty superstitious person. There was the day my Mom had surgery and I took especial care not to step on a crack so as not to break her back. There was last Baylor football season when we went undefeated well into the season and I wore the same shirt every game day – even wearing it to my best friend’s bridal shower (hidden under a dress).
So, you can imagine my confusion when it comes to picking out a shirt for the US match against Belgium tomorrow. You see, I’m not sure I can wear what I wore during our last match – I mean, we lost, but also we made it out of the group of death. That seems like pretty murky territory when it comes to luck. But, I don’t think I can wear what we wore for the match against Portugal because we drew. The worst part? I can’t remember what I was wearing the day we played Ghana and won. I had spent the night before in the hospital with Grammy and the whole day is a blur.
Thoughts? Should I take a chance on a new shirt?
Also, my husband informed me yesterday that at the first World Cup ever, the US beat Belgium. This seems like a good omen. But it makes it all the more CRUCIAL I choose the right shirt for the match tomorrow. Any advice would be appreciated.
I met up with a bunch of friends on Sunday to watch the US match against Portugal. I was feeling excited because we beat Ghana (and we never had before) but also nervous because Portugal…(Ronaldo). So, when we scored our second goal for the lead, I couldn’t help but leap up from my seat – what I failed to take into account in my celebration was the table that was directly in my way. I am now sporting a very large and unsightly bruise on my leg because AMERICA.
If that isn’t patriotism then I don’t know what is.
Of course, Portugal tied it up in the final seconds. I think my bruise hurts a little more because of that, but my spirit remains unbroken.
I have recently been made aware that when football players are all in a massive pile on the ground fighting for the football they are GRABBING AND PULLING AT EACH OTHER’S JUNK. Apparently, they think this will make the player holding the ball drop it.
First of all, hahaha so many jokes about ball and balls.
Second of all, NOT OK FELLAS. Did your parents not teach you about “bad touching”? I feel like it should be obvious that human beings should not grab and pull at other human beings genitalia in an effort to hurt them, but apparently it isn’t. So, consider this an official statement from a human being – hey guys, don’t do that. Just…..don’t. Poke an eye or punch a kidney or something, but don’t sexually assault one another, just plain old assault one another.
When I made it clear I felt this way, I was told “it’s just part of the game” and since I’m not a football player (totally true) I “can’t say anything”. BUT I am unwilling to believe that all football players are cool with this, I mean, they keep their baby seeds in those balls, so this is not a matter to be taken lightly. I propose some sort of consent form. Something along the lines of “I football player am totally cool with the fact that my junk might get pulled, twisted, and smashed during the course of this game. I fully acknowledge that this may require me to get a testicular implant if a nut is busted. I’m cool with it.” That way, at least all these guys are giving their consent.
I would just feel better about it if there was some sort of consent given. Probably.
Actually, I’ve never read a football player’s contract so there very well might be a junk smashing or nut busting clause in there. If so, then just ignore the girl who wrote a post about this on her blog. She doesn’t play football so she doesn’t get it.
Y’all I have a dilema. You see, I was wearing a particular shirt on Sunday when the Spurs beat the Heat, so I wore it again (recognizing the power of inanimate objects as I do) on Tuesday, but the Spurs lost. What the hell am I supposed to wear today???
This is Tim Duncan’s reaction to my lucky shirt not working.
And now a message from Patty Mills.
Little known fact about me- I like hockey. And though Texas is a place where ice has a very difficult time existing, it is also a place with extraordinary air conditioning and so we totally have hockey teams here. Usually, I go to hockey games with my family and therefore am somewhat appropriately behaved. Which is to say, I’m inappropriate but only to an appropriate degree. I’m appropriately inappropriate.
But, on Saturday, I went to a hockey game with Captain Thoughtful and some of our friends. And as a result, I’m fairly certain I won’t be allowed back unless I agree to abstain from the following.
1. Don’t say “and that’s not a metaphor” anytime someone references a “stick”.
2. Don’t laugh when people fall down on the ice.
3. Don’t humiliate your fiance by getting on the big screen because of your AWESOME dance moves.
4. Stop giggling every time someone gets a “high-sticking” penalty. (And then follow it up with “and that’s not a metaphor” you’ll think it’s funny the 1000th time but no one else will. Because they don’t get it. Or they’re just humorless grouchy-pants)
5. Don’t sit in the wrong seat and make promises to the kids behind you and then move to your actual seats. Those kids will think you’re a jerk who breaks promises. Although, maybe you’ve taught them an important lesson about not trusting strangers.
Anyway, I had fun.