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I Could Be A Mall Cop |  - Photograph

The Oppression Of A Subsequent Stall Texter |

You understand how while you’re in a restroom with a number of stalls and somebody within the stall subsequent to you is clearly texting as a result of you may hear the press on their cellphone? I discover that oppressive.
It’s like, “Hey woman (, as a result of I’m normally within the girls room) cease texting! Do your corporation and be gone with you!” What’s so necessary that it could actually’t wait 2-Quarter-hour (relying on what precisely your rest room enterprise is)? Nothing. Nothing is that necessary. It’s one factor if you wish to textual content and poop at dwelling, I’m not attempting to make home windows into your soul (shout out to my woman Elizabeth I), you’re greater than welcome to do no matter you need in your personal rest room. However right here, on this public or workplace restroom, it’s bizarre so that you can have your cellphone with you.
Why? Effectively, for one factor, I get tremendous pee shy and once I can hear you texting within the stall subsequent to me it makes me much more shy as a result of I assume that you just’re texting about me and my bodily capabilities. Like “Hey. Some woman simply went into the stall subsequent to me. I wager she’s going to poop. Haha.” And for the document, I wasn’t going to poop as a result of I solely poop within the workplace restroom if nobody else is in there. That’s simply good manners. They taught me that in cotillion. Or possibly you’re texting one thing like “Whoa. This woman simply went into the stall subsequent to me and began peeing like a racehorse. Ick. Eat asparagus a lot? LOL.” And yeah, I do eat a number of asparagus as a result of it’s tremendous wholesome and can in all probability forestall armpit most cancers and possibly you shouldn’t be commenting on my pee in any respect you Nosey Noserson.
Logically, I notice individuals in all probability aren’t stay tweeting about my pee. That’s simply my pee shyness speaking. But when they aren’t stay tweeting my pee, then there is just one factor they are often doing with their cellphone within the rest room stall and that’s taking photos of their poop and sending it to family and friends. Hear- I’m not right here to guage anybody, however it’s in all probability finest in the event you take poop pictures at dwelling, don’t you assume? I imply, on the very least I’m positive the lighting is best.
The worst half is the awkward eye contact after we’re each on the sink washing our palms. I do know what you probably did, what you probably did, however we will’t discuss it, so I make some feedback about zombie ants and killer jellyfish and you may’t even reply since you really feel so responsible about stay tweeting my bodily capabilities and taking photos of your poop. Let’s put an finish to this cycle. Please, please cease bringing your cellphone into the toilet stall with you. Or, not less than, cease texting when somebody is within the stall subsequent to you. That manner, after we’re on the sinks we will have good conversations about attention-grabbing nature anomalies.

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