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This Is My Minute By Minute Reaction To The KStew Cheating Scandal.

July 26, 2012 by
Minute 1
Whoa. Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson? Wait….nope…I don’t care. Silly internets trying to pull me into celebrity gossip.
Minute 5
Uh-oh, there are pictures of Kristen Stewart cheating???! Doesn’t homegirl know there are cameras everywhere? I gotta see this….no. No, I don’t. It has zero effect on my life and is totally not my business and should be disregarded. But what does this mean for Bella and Edward? Will Stephanie Meyer re-write the ending to the Twilight series?
Minute 6
The Kristen Stewart cheating scandal is on the news…..that means I should totally read everything about it! (And then I read all about it and came away feeling really pissed for the wife and kids of the director she cheated with. Why don’t people ever think of the wife and kids (or husband and kids as the case may be)? Then I had to eat a bunch of chocolate to cure my case of the sads.
Minute 30
Kristen issued an apology. It’s very emotional. Yeah…no. I feel like she needs to apologize to the wife and kids and not just Robert, although of course, he deserves lots of apologies as well. Man, all the promo for the last Twilight is going to be so awkward…like way more awkward than it already was. And it was super awkward to begin with.WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THIS?! I could be solving the world’s problems, or making people laugh, or both at the same time!
Minute 31
Yeah. I’m done reading about this. It is literally none of my business. But still…I thought Jodie Foster would have taught her better.
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