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Watching Breaking Dawn Was Like Getting Punched In The Brain

screen shot 2011 11 21 at 9 20 10 pm

This movie was so terrible. SO. TERRIBLE. I don’t even think terrible covers it. When I left the theater I felt like the biggest fool in the world. Why was I there? What possessed me to give that movie a chance? How could I have let such a travesty happen to me? What makes it worse, is I was there with my friend and her brain got punched as well and it’s all my fault. I can’t believe I paid to see that. I will never forgive myself. Ever.

Full disclosure here, I did read all 4 books so I knew what I was in for more or less. Which, really, when you think about it, makes it all the worse that I saw the movie. I knew better! The first 3 books were fine I guess, I’ll admit I was caught up in the romance of them, but when I got the the fourth book everything changed.

Listen- I can suspend my disbelief enough to believe in vampires and werewolves. But under no circumstances am I able to suspend my disbelief so much that I can accept that a vampire who has been dead for over 100 years still has viable sperm. Really? Unacceptable. I’m also unwilling to believe that chewing your baby out of the womb is an acceptable way to deliver a baby. Oh, and just so everyone knows, no matter how innocent they try to make “imprinting” sound- it is still creepy as hell. And honestly, it was even worse on film. Worse and never-ending- this movie is like 2 1/2 hours long. For reals. Shame on me for sitting through it.

Anyway, I’ll probably see the next one too. I clearly need to have my head examined.

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