August 1, 2012 by
There are a lot of people who look forward to your wedding. Some people look forward to the meal, some to the booze, some to the togetherness, and some people apparently look forward to interpreting the way you and your groom dance. Those people are called “Grammy”.
Now, I’ll tell you what Grammy said but you have to promise not to tell her I’m blogging about her again because then I’ll be in big trouble and I’ll never blog about her again and then we all lose. Don’t be the person who makes everyone else lose. Ok? Ok.
Grammy: I don’t know if I’ll be able to contain myself when you’re walking down the aisle.
Me: Don’t. If you feel like clapping and shouting “Hallelujah” then please do. There aren’t any rules at my wedding. Except for two rules which are no smoking and no flip-flops. So, please feel free to express yourself in any way you see fit that doesn’t involve smoking and flip-flops.
Grammy: What would people say?
Me: I don’t care. It’s my wedding and I want everyone to have a blast, and if that means clapping and hooting and hollering, then so be it.
Grammy: I’ve never seen anything like that before.
Me: I think there will probably be a lot about my wedding that you haven’t seen before.
Grammy: Are you talking about alcohol?
Me: Yes. And also dancing. There will be LOADS of dancing.
Grammy: Oh! I’m looking forward to that! I would really like to see how Captain Thoughtful’s body communicates with yours.
(Pause for hysterical laughing)
Me: You mean through the art of dance?
Grammy: Sure! It will be very telling.
Me: Yeah, we’re going to stop this conversation right there.
So, that’s a thing my Grammy said. So many people say that weddings bring out the worst in people, but I have to say, this is some of Grammy’s best material.
August 1, 2012 by