June 15, 2012 by
I’m meeting some very important people this weekend and I am very importantly nervous about it. What if they don’t like awkward weirdos with bizarre interests and an imaginary pet unicorn named Walter? What will I do???
My Grammy suggested I just smile a lot and look them in the eyes. Personally, I think smiling and staring at someone without saying anything makes you look like a really happy face-eater, but I could be wrong about that. Basically everyone else I’ve talked to suggested I just be myself but then that leads us back to the “awkward weirdo with bizarre interests and an imaginary pet unicorn named Walters” dilemma. Suddenly, everything I do seems strange and unlikable so I’m thinking of trying some new stuff. Here are a few of my brainstorming ideas to make very important people like me.
Are knock-knock jokes a thing people like? Because I could definitely come up with a few good knock-knock jokes.
How about just breaking the ice with a dance move? Is that endearing?
What about high-fives instead of hand-shakes? Does that make me seem cool like Fonzie? Because I frequently get referred to as a “Fozzie” (as in Bear as in the best muppet ever) but all my late night Happy Days watching would lead me to believe that being a “Fonzie” is better.
Other than that, I’m out of ideas. Help me my dear and faithful readers, you’re my only hope…. of not humiliating myself and ruining my whole life forever and forever.
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