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Your Childhood Is About To Be Rocked. Also, I Need Some Sleep.

October 12, 2012 by
You guys. All of your favorite nursery rhymes are about drugs. Think about it. Except you don’t have to really think about it because I did all thinking for you. You’re welcome.
Mary didn’t have a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow- that was just code for Mary had a little drug mule who was carting uncut cocaine.
Humpty Dumpty was sitting on a wall, get it? Up high? He was high. And then he fell and his life was in pieces. It’s a cautionary tale. Don’t do drugs.
The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout? There is a drug called water. This one is too easy.
I think this is what happens when you’re watching TV because you can’t sleep and what you’re watching is a documentary about drugs, and then you fall asleep and wake up with this written in the notebook you keep next to your bed. I think.
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